Something I had that I treasured dearly has left me today. It has been my friend in funny places, my companion in new adventures. It has been a constant reminder of days past and a forseer of the days to come. I don't understand. It was fine yesterday, but today...nothing. It's times like these when I question what God's plan is and what possible good can come from my loss.
I have only been without it for a day, but it feels like an eternity. I'm lost and have reached for it a number of times only to see that nothing has changed.
It's gone.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Nic has tried to comfort me, but it's no use. I've tried to bring it back to life, but to no avail. I mourn its loss and wonder what tomorrow will bring. Will I get used to not having it around? Will I ever stop reaching for it? Does time really heal all wounds? *sigh* I am grieved.
What is this piece of me that I have to learn to live without, you ask? What condolences can you bring me? What has troubled me so?
My camera broke.
Normally, I would laugh with you...but I really do take this thing EVERYWHERE. I document many, many, many moments with my kids. It is my ever-increasing pleasure to look at pictures of the past and be glad that I did the best I could to document every memory, every moment, every cheer, every tear, even tantrums that they have had in their life. For instance, Hannah put on a pirate patch this morning over one eye and then walked up to me and said, "Argh!" I kid you not. I instinctively reached for my camera...only to find it would no longer turn on and keeps giving me a lens error. Being the me that I am, I looked up lens errors for my camera. Know what I found? Casio's have a bad reputation for getting gears stuck with dirt and dust. Where was I on Wednesday? A dusty pumpkin patch. Where have I taken the camera more times than I can count? The beach. And bear with me here...I've been pregnant predominately the last five years of my life...it has taken a couple tumbles. But did that stop me from trying to fix it? NO! I took that camera apart...oh, yes I did! (There's an online tutorial for just this thing...I sure do appreciate Al Gore for inventing that internet right about now)
It didn't work. It's still broken. I'm still sad. More sad about the lack of pictures I'll get to take until we get a new one. Just as sad about the fact that it's one more thing we'll have to spend money on. *sigh*
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8 comments:
sorry to hear of your loss. I'm mourning with you as I'd be so sad if ours died. Is there a time and day yet for the memorial/burial? Please let us know.
My deepest condolences for your terrible and unexpected loss. In time, your heart will mend and I know you will love yet another. :)
Thank you friends, for your unconditional support during this difficult time.
I'm sure it will get easier to be without it, it's just the initial shock of its passing that has me so upset.
You need to go & get a throw away one for tonight at least! Wait do they still make those???? Sorry to hear of your loss.
Not that Nic is happy but I bet he is relieved to know the perfect Christmas gift for you;).
Here is why you love me....AT LEAST you downloaded the last month of pictures before this untimely death! Ha! Leave to me to find a happy moment amidst the sad (not sure if you love me for that, now that I'm saying it, or hate me...I know at times both)...love you! Kiss him good-bye for me.
I know how you feel. Chris took ours this summer on a trip and left it in his suitcase while he boarded the plane. Yeap, no camera when he picked up his bags. Bad day for this to happen!
It is why I love you, friend!
The problem with it being a Christmas present is that I wouldn't have it for Thanksgiving and all the fun activities that come with Christmas.
:(
And no, I don't rely on other people to take my pictures. Besides the fact that everyone insists on taking so many unflattering pictures of me that it has lead me to believe I really do have a face only a mother could love, it would also mean possibly not ever seeing them until three years later (right, Mom?)
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